explosions
by erzas-panty
Summary: Gray and Juvia's unrequited feelings towards each other in different lifetimes makes loving difficult.
1. Explosions

Summary: Juvia's affections continues to be unrequited, but Gray does not give up on trying to love her.

Pairing: Gruvia (Gray x Juvia)

Author's Note: Songfic, oneshot. I'm not sure how I ended up with this story structure, but I think it works anyway lol. No plot, just comfort and little fluff. Please read, review, and check out my other FT stories and oneshots!

* * *

"Do you love me?"

I can't get these damn words out of my head. I panicked at that word.

Love.

Juvia was talking in first person, and all I could think of was what she was upset about; it must have been bad enough to get her like that.

I'd never seen her stare at me so intensely. Her eyes weren't full of joy like they usually are on a sunny day. They weren't glowing radiance like they do when she's running to me after not seeing me for days. They weren't blinking passion, or burning fires. And they weren't lustful like they are at 2 AM on her bed.

In that instance when she had asked me, I opened my mouth to speak, yet no words came out. I wanted to say, "Yes! Of course I do, Juvia!", but nothing came out. I felt myself straining my throat trying to force the words out and she had noticed. That was the last time I saw her blue eyes so bright.

Juvia looked to the floor, disappointed. She just wanted a reassurance of my love for her; but I couldn't give it to her. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't tell her I loved her back. But I wish I could; I really do, because I would give anything to have her back.

Then, she had left. Juvia began to silently weep before she turned her back to me and walked away with one measly word.

_'Goodbye.'_

I grabbed her wrist, still wondering where this even came from, and she refused to look at me in the eyes. "Juvia, where are you going? I don't understand.."

"Do you love me?" she repeated, crying into her arm and refusing to look at me still. Juvia wore a frown and began to cry more, and I knew nothing I would do, or say would get her to stop.

Again, I tried forcing the words out to no avail.

She pushed the tears off her face and clenched her fists, pulling her wrist out of my hold. She furrowed her eyebrows and clenched her eyes shut for a few seconds to control her falling tears. Juvia held back the hiccups that were waiting to be released, and shook her head at me. I couldn't stop looking at her, like the answer would appear on her face. But it was an answer I already knew; and I guess she had known before I did.

"This is our answer. Goodbye, Gray," Juvia muttered under her breath and she walked away, her hair bouncing against the wind.

That was the last day I saw that head of vibrant, azure hair, and the last day I saw her so down and upset. And I wish to this day it wasn't the last, and I hadn't been the reason for her sadness. I wish I could love her enough so that she'd never even know what sadness was, but I can't do that for her, because I don't feel what she feels.

I wish I did, and that I could tell her so I can start mending her heart back together. But I don't, and I can't force myself to. I want to love her so bad.

* * *

It's been about two months since I last really made any contact with her. She's been avoiding me at the guild. Whenever she sees me walk in, she would immediately leave the room. Juvia won't respond to my waves or hellos, and she hasn't looked at me since then. I can't get through to her. I'm trying so hard. I guess this must have been what it was like for her, to be at the end of the other side, waiting, hoping, and wishing for something to happen; waiting for me to love her. Man, this hurts.

I miss her.

I need to talk to her, and be able to ask her how she is, and what she has been doing. I need to know that she is still taking her medication everyday at the same time, and that she always has an umbrella with her since I can't be there anymore to hold one over her. I want to know if she still loves me. I need Juvia; I need her only, and all of her.

I slipped Juvia a note under her apartment door this morning. I hope it's enough to get her to come here. I asked her to meet me here at the beach, at the spot where we always sat after swimming in the ocean, just to watch the sunset. This always was her favorite place in the world. Here, and my arms, she had once said, with the most exhilarating smile. If only she could return to them too. But she will not allow herself; yet they're still open to her. They always will be.

It's almost 5pm, and I'm still digging my feet in the sand, eagerly waiting to hear the soft sound of footsteps come up from behind me. The sun normally came down a few minutes after 5pm. I know Juvia wouldn't miss the sun setting – she hasn't missed a day watching the sun go down since she first saw it with me.

Maybe, she really wasn't coming. Maybe, she was really over me. Maybe, I had hurt her too much this time. And if she doesn't want to see me, I guess I can't say that it wasn't my fault. I'm so inconsiderate. And I'm so selfish; if I had been selfish for the both of us from the beginning, she would be here with me right now, watching the sun return home in her own home, which is in my hold where she belongs.

Minutes pass, and the shadows begin to cast down on the shore and the skies slowly darken from a cerulean blue to darkness. Juvia was like day itself, and she was my light. She always did say that her eyes were the color of the skies during day, and mine were the skies during night; that's why she believed we were perfectly balanced and made for each other. I used to think that was kinda stupid, but lately all I see is darkness in all shades, and I miss the light in my life; it was always her.

I laid down and looked up to see that the stars were already coming out for the night. It was getting late; Juvia would not show. As much as I had hoped, I would not plead her guilty, nor the victim. Who am I, to have such high expectations of her and us still.

There was a shadow lurking over me, and I looked over to see Juvia standing over me, with no apparent emotion on her face. We stared at each other for a few seconds, but then she sat before laying down about two feet away next to me. She crossed her hands on her stomach, and gazed up at the stars with me. We haven't done this in so long.

"'I'm sorry that I miss you like you were still mine'."

Juvia turned her head towards me with a raised eyebrow. Those words I had written were enough to get her to come here, but what would make her stay?

"Does Gray-sama really?" she asked, a question raised in her voice. Juvia's skepticism hurt, but how could I say that when I couldn't confirm it.

"Yes. But I want to miss you because you are mine."

The air became icy and the skies faded to darkness by the minute. The sun was disappearing, and so was she. I want her to stay. She can't leave again. I'll never know what it's like to have this feelings again.

She spoke, "Juvia will always miss Gray-sama. Every day, in every lifetime."

There was no change of tone in her voice, nor did she look at me still after that. I feel like she's drifting further and further away from me, yet here she was, two feet away. What do I do?

"Would you fall in love with me still then?" I asked, hopeless.

Juvia hesitated for a few seconds. The silence was eerie. The sounds of crashing waves filled my ears, waiting for her answer and the settling darkness almost made me lose sight of her. I couldn't lose her – not again.

"Every time," Juvia answered, looking towards me again, and this time I couldn't help but to look back at her.

Her eyes weren't the same. They weren't the same bright blue eyes they once were. I'd do anything to bring back her color. She used to see everything in vivid colors, and she used to see me in colors that didn't exist. I'd never be able to love her as much as she loves me.

I refused to turn away from her, carving this last image of her into my memory. "Would you still, even if I didn't love you back?"

Juvia swallowed and her lips quivered. That's when I knew that her biggest fear was rejection, and I was doing this to her. I'm such a terrible person.

"If Juvia can be with you, if Juvia can see you, if Juvia can love you...that's enough for her. Even if Gray-sama will never return those feelings," the corner of her lips curved slightly into a small smile, and she turned away from me again back up to the skies. The sun had set, and the air grew colder.

I gazed upon her face before I looked away. She's really more beautiful than I last saw her. The moon's light reflecting on the water's reflection illuminated her pale skin, and brought light back into her gaze. What did I do to ever deserve her in any way? I'd give up my life to return her love. She was light, and the darkness; the sun, and the moon.

"Juvia, I-"

I would have said something desperate and impulsive if I hadn't felt Juvia slip her fingers into mine. She was so warm, her skin like a porcelain doll. I craved her. I missed her.

Juvia closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She often did this to focus on the ocean's waves and to relax. All I could do was follow, and I shut my eyes, tightening our intertwined hands' grip. She did not refuse me and I could feel myself weaken by the second.

"Are you afraid to fall in love with me?"

I found myself not being able to answer again. She reverted to speaking in first person, and the tension in the air grew immensely.

"Is it because I remind you of the days you've hidden in your heart?"

Did I know the answer to these questions, or was I simply not able to answer them? All I could do was look up, then back down at her, wordless. I'd give her all the answers she wanted to know if I could.

She almost whispered then, "It's okay. Because when you learn, I'll be here, waiting. As long as it takes."

She had tightened our hands when she could feel my hand shivering. It felt so cold. How was that possible for me?

But whatever she wanted, I would do anything for her. Just so she could feel my love. But I couldn't return it genuinely. Not right now. That made me sad to know; and she was an even sadder girl, alone.

"One day, when you find peace, and you know you're ready, I'll make explosions, and we'll find each other again."

Explosions.

Why couldn't I love Juvia. She was always one step away, and in my thoughts, mind, heart, yet I couldn't give myself to her. I'm so damn selfish. I wanted nothing more than for her to have all of me.

I closed my eyes for awhile, feeling her thumb brush against the back of my hand. She was someone I didn't deserve in any lifetime.

"We were never in love." My chest ached spitting out these truthful words. I wanted nothing for for this to be wrong.

I then heard her sniffle. She silently wept to herself, yet still with the most serene smile on her face. I couldn't look at her anymore. This was my fault.

"I'm sorry. We could have been in love."

I've never felt Juvia hold me so tightly. I was only inches from her, yet we both knew how far from each other we really were.

"No, we couldn't have. You know that," Juvia chuckled lightly, "not in this life. I can't get you to love me. But you will learn."

She'd never give up on me. I wish I could love her unconditionally. I want nothing more than for her place of home to be with me.

"How do you know?" I asked, gazing at the twinkling star ahead of me. My thumb caressed her skin like I would never feel it again. And maybe I wouldn't.

"Because I know we will find each other another time. And I'll love you then. And then maybe, just maybe then, you could love me too?" Juvia's hair fell from hair face onto the sand when she looked to me. Her eyes were pleading, begging me for my affection. I can't and I feel a pit in my stomach. If I could rip open my chest and give her my heart, I'd do that for her.

"I'd give my eternity just to get the chance to love you."

Tears streamed down her cheeks and all she did was smile at me so happily, like her heart wasn't broken. I'd do anything to make her smile genuinely again – apparently anything, but love her.

"Juvia knows," she said quietly, her tone accepting my confession.

We laid in silence a bit longer and she still didn't mind my touch. I wanted her longer, forever maybe even. We both stared up at the sky, and I didn't want this to ever end.

"The moon is so bright. Juvia is glad she can see it with you. And Juvia will always be glad that she got the chance to fall in love with you."

Me too. We could see it every day, together, at the same time. And I'll accept your love, and we could do this and more, if we were in love. And maybe then, in another life, we could be. I'll feel your explosions all at once in that moment, and I'll know. For now, all I can do is hold you and wish that we could have fallen hopelessly for each other – or at least, that I could do all the loving for the both of us, to make up for all the last lifetimes. I'll love you another time, Juvia Lockser.


	2. Mine

Author's Note: A slight spoiler of the recent arc if you have not caught up and a popular headcanon included (very briefly). I planned on this being longer but I got lazy lol. Anyway, this is like the second part to my story, "Explosions". Rather Juvia pining over Gray, the roles have been reversed. Some people are confused, but these chapters are individual oneshots. They occur in different lifetimes, hence are like sequels. Anyway, R&R!

* * *

There were three things that Gray Fullbuster did not like and could not handle: one, was a woman crying; two, was expressing his true, hidden feelings; and three, was showing his weak, vulnerable side that only Natsu and Lyon had witnessed once in their life. And because of his inability to share or break down his wall of flaws, he pushed Juvia Lockser away, who fit all three criteria rules of what he was incapable of breaking for her.

Gray had never imagined this situation, however. He never imagined sitting on his apartment deck bawling over Juvia. He never imagined crying over her, and expressing all his feelings to Lyon about it. And he never imagined Juvia leaving him, or ever being in a relationship with her at all. That very last thought he had might have been the sole reason why she picked up and left without much of a warning though. And of all people he had to vent his feelings in regards to Juvia, had to be Lyon; his childhood "brother" and one-time "rival" for both the title of the better ice mage and for Juvia's affections. However, that was then, when Gray had it easy; he never had to fight for Juvia, moreover compete for her.

Gray had Juvia at the palm of his hands ever since she first met him. She protected him, accepted all his flaws and disabilities, encouraged him to become not only a better mage, but a man, and loved every aspect of him and brought light to him in the darkest corners of his cold heart. At first, he had difficulty accepting the fact that her comical swoons, over-protection, and borderline-creepy consistency and persistency to be with him all the time was her strange way of proving her love to him.

As they aged together and grew closer, he finally understood that it was not her that he feared or did not like, but himself, and what would become of him if he let her in like he had with his parents and Ul. He feared losing her, emotionally and physically, and he came to terms with the fact that he could not lose Juvia because it would break his heart, and might be the final blow to destroy him; he was able to bring peace to his soul with this and accepted it, after he had sacrificed himself for her during the dragon attack. If it hadn't been for Ultear's sacrifice, he would be dead, and for awhile Gray wondered if he would have regretted saving Juvia's life. And not for a single second did he hesitate to say that he wouldn't regret dying for her.

That was when he knew he had to protect her at all costs from all enemies, from getting hurt, from feeling pain, and from the rain that seemed to follow her relentlessly. Gray wanted nothing more than to be her sun and to accept her in his circle and his heart. He no longer had his home, his family, and was in constant fear of losing one of his dear friends in Fairy Tail. Though he was always afraid of the outcome of the more dangerous missions his comrades took, with, or without him, he refused to allow Juvia to take one of those missions without him, and was always teased when his members found him to be more affectionate and caring with her more. He refused to lose her, and that was the moment when he realized he harbored romantic feelings for her. When he realized he loved her, was a whole other story.

It was about a quarter to 6 on a normal, somewhat quiet morning in Magnolia. Most of the Fairy Tail members were out on missions, while the usual pack hung back in the guild for some early morning beer and quality time. Natsu, Lucy, and Happy went on a two-week mission a few hours away from Magnolia. Erza had been gone for some time now and all assumed she had made contact with Jellal. The Shadow Gear trio left that a few days prior for a quick mission to pay off debts, as well as the Raijinshuu who followed Laxus on a mission further than Natsu and Lucy's destination.

It was a normal day for everyone, but Gray. It had been six days since Juvia left him, and it had always been part of their routine to watch the sunrise, and he would do it now, with or without her.

Nobody had known about their separation since his team had left only a day after, and Gray was uncomfortable expressing his feelings to anyone else in the guild with fear of being ridiculed and mocked. He knew that if he were to vent or tell someone about it, they would lecture him about how badly he must have messed up with Juvia to get her to leave. Or that they wouldn't take him seriously and completely dismiss his feelings. That possibility convinced Gray of how much he really disliked himself. The members of Fairy Tail were supposed to be his family, but he had little faith that any of them would really sympathize and understand because of his inability to open up. This had put such a handicap on his end in regards to his relationship with many of his comrades that were not as close to him, especially Juvia.

Gray wished he could be like Juvia. The person that she became after she met him was the person he aspired to be, but even before then, she was a wonderful person overall, even during the times when she had lost herself. Everyday when they were together, Gray and Juvia woke at dawn to watch the sunrise, and secretly, whenever he would glance over to her and see her smiling at the horizon, the thoughts that ran in his mind were not only about her beauty, but how she could be so in love with life, and how much he admired her for who she was.

The sun was currently beginning to rise, and Gray sat alone on the second-level deck of his apartment. He bought his apartment specifically for the deck, and because he could see the city and sun come up or down every day. He sat on the white outdoor chair that Juvia had picked out just for him; originally, he always watched from the ground level until she convinced him to get two chairs for the both of them. Normally, Juvia would be sitting next to him in the other chair a few feet over, and Gray looked over to his left side at the empty reserved space that he knew would always have her name on it. He brushed his palm against wood arm rest, wishing for the vacant spot to be filled by her any second. Gray left her seat open for her when she returned, hoping that she really would.

The slight, calm breeze that flowed through Gray's hair suddenly grew chillier, and he didn't dare to face the man he knew was only capable of that drastic change. Lyon approached him from behind, and shadowed over Gray's body. He stood with his hands in his pocket, and didn't say anything to make his presence (even more) known; but he stood and watched the black sky blend with the orange sun. Gray said nothing to acknowledge his brother and continued to watch the moon carry away the dark night to make way for the blue skies. Every minute showed drastic change in the colors of the sky, and as many times as Gray had seen the sun rise, he refused to miss every motion. Even though Juvia wasn't there with him now, he wanted to continue to watch it so he could tell her all about it, if, and when she came back.

Few seconds that seemed like minutes passed and the sun's rays began to peak brightly over the horizon and conceal the darkness. Gray watched the sun rise intently with a small smile before it faded into a sad one again. It had been the sixth day, and Juvia still hadn't come back to him. _'Maybe she really was not coming'_, he scoffed to himself, while his guilt and anger began to consume him again. She had no intention of coming home to him.

"She's not coming."

Great. That's just what he needed.

Gray rolled his eyes and refused to turn around to even look at Lyon. At first he wanted to yell at him for coming in and asking how, but then he remembered that he had given him a key only for emergencies and that he had no strength left to be upset. Gray pressed his finger to massage his temple and shut his eyes, wanting Lyon to leave, but also wanting to hear more of what else he had to say.

"How did you even find out?" Gray asked monotonously, opening his eyes and crossing his arms. He gazed at the sun that grew larger, and soared higher in the sky with every passing second and began to ponder about the sun, and if it liked the moon.

Wind blew harder and Gray couldn't help but to feel that that morning's sunrise was different from all the other times. Something was either missing, or wrong, but he couldn't pinpoint it.

"You may have taken Juvia from me, and I might hate you, but it does not mean I don't care or know you any less," Lyon explained, with a hint of discreet sympathy in his voice. "Your little fire friend told me you were acting weird a few days ago.

Gray groaned to himself and dug his nails into the wood, irritated. Why couldn't Natsu mind his own business, or just ask him what was wrong himself instead of blabbering about it to Lyon?

"Yeah, I guess I have been then."

"What happened?" Lyon demanded almost immediately, with a tone of sincerity hidden in his words. At the end of the day, as much as Lyon loved Juvia for himself, he always placed Gray first. He took Juvia's reserved seat, knowing this talk would take awhile. He still refused to sit too close and act friendly with him, regardless of the situation, but he would listen.

Gray sighed, submitting, and picking away the chipping wood. "Alright then, I'll tell you."

* * *

_"Gray-sama?" a small, cute voice squeaked coming from the familiar blue-haired girl who was peaking her head through the bedroom door._

_Gray was currently sitting underneath the covers of the king-sized bed, waiting for her arrival. He smiled to welcome her, but it faded when he noticed that she was not cheerful or eager like she usually was during the night time._

_"Come."_

_He folded the comforter over for her to slide underneath and she accepted. Usually, Juvia was the first to initiate anything, but this time she did not climb in and wrap her arms around him as she would normally. She sat on her knees in front of him and Gray sat up with his back against the frame, worried. What did he do now? Or what did he forget to do?_

_"What's the matter?" he asked, lifting her chin up to look at him. Her eyes lacked the passion and stars they always had._

_She took his hand from her face and grasped it between both of hers, kissing his skin._

_"Juvia needs Gray-sama to listen to her, okay..."_

_"Of course, Ju-" he interrupted her, only to be ironically cut off by Juvia._

_She put his hand down onto her lap and looked away, eyebrows furrowing. Gray had rarely seen her frustrated, or angry in general. She hated to be mad because she knew it would only bring rain and thunder. Whatever she had to say had been bothering her for a long time, he was now sure._

_"No. Please, Juvia needs your full attention. No interrupting, no talking, no daydreaming..she needs Gray-sama to listen," she pleaded, squeezing the hand on her lap. Gray responded to it by giving her a reassuring squeeze back to no avail._

_"Okay, Juvia. Whatever is on your mind, whatever is bothering you, I will listen."_

_One hand brushed through the middle part in her hair, pushing her falling strands back before she took a deep breath that only drew more anxiety from Gray. Juvia felt him tense and she brought his hand to her lips to kiss again._

_"Juvia thinks it's time for her to leave."_

_At the last word, he immediately yanked his hand out of hers, feeling his heart race. He breathed harshly through his nose and his eyebrows furrowed so low it almost hurt him to maintain it's position. Gray felt his chest grow heavy like weight was sitting on it, crushing him, until he couldn't breathe. He became more anxious, and now, angry, puzzled, and slightly annoyed._

_Her mouth gaped at his reaction, but she expected something. "Please, listen. There is so much of the world Juvia has left to see, and things to experience, and people to meet. And so does Gray-sama. We have been together two years, and Juvia has loved every single memory. But Juvia can't be your only memory, and only love, like Gray-sama cannot be hers, as much as she would like."_

_"I don't understand. What do you mean? Are you leaving me? What did I do wrong? Please tell me so I can fix it," Juvia found herself engulfed in his hold and she smiled bitterly to herself, nuzzling her hair on his chest and tracing circles on his back to give him a familiar sense and reminder that she was still there; for now._

_Her fingers made their way from his bare shoulder blades to the hairs on the back of his head and she brushed them through to comfort him. As much as Gray would never admit, he loved having his hair played with. He dug his face into the crevices of her collar-bone and held her tighter._

_"Gray-sama did nothing wrong, please don't be upset. He is so wonderful to Juvia, and so kind, and so loving, and so attentive, and so perfect. But this is Juvia's decision. Because we are only 20 and 21 years old. Because we have yet to meet the people who will teach what we want in a husband and wife, and who will teach us what we do not have the strength for, how to become better people, what we do not like, and everything that we cannot learn from each other. Gray-sama has taught Juvia so much, and vice versa, but to continue this is like watering dying flowers. We have no room left to grow right now, until we are older."_

_He pulled her closer and she heard him begin to sob harshly. Not once had Juvia seen him cry, nonetheless over her, and he refused to let her see his tears as he held her close to him and the falling drops crashed on her collar bones. Juvia ran her fingers lightly up and down his back to comfort him as he said nothing, but his chest occasionally pulsed against hers to stifle his hurt cries._

_Gray said nothing as he continued to weep into her neck, and grasped the back of her head to brush her hair for a last time. "I'll change, please. I know I could be nicer, and more consider-" he hiccuped and instinctively gripped her tighter, "considerate, and thoughtful..I've been trying to change. I have, you've seen the changes haven't you?"_

_His voice was pleading to the angels and Juvia couldn't help but to empathize and feel terrible for making him plea so desperately and ache so badly. Her fingers would not stop rubbing his back for comfort, which made no difference in stopping his heart from breaking. But this is what they needed, and what Juvia had to do._

_"Yes, Gray," she whispered kindly, leaving a kiss on his exposed neck. His chest felt heavier hearing his name without the honorific and hear her serious tone come with her speech. "You've has done so well. Please do not make this harder on us. I want us together again in the future. But not now for any longer because I want us to meet again when the both of us are whole, not in pieces and completing each other like halves. Juvia loves you..no, I love you," her voice quaked as she smiled into his skin and Gray belted out another loud sob hearing those words._

_"I love you," she repeated, leaving a short trail of soft, loving kisses on his neck following every slow second, "so so much. But you and I can't be in this same spot together forever. This is where we are, and over there, in the future, is where we need to be. I need you to let me go, so we can find ourselves, and maybe each other eventually."_

_Gray's cries became short breaths and quiet hiccups. One of her hands gave his back light pats to comfort him more and he did not bring his head back up from Juvia's neck. He placed his forehead on her shoulder and let his hands fall to his sides, hopeless. She was right, and his selfishness was the only obstacle standing in the way of her and the door to the world._

_Juvia took his face in both her hands and she swore she had never seen sadness up close. She wiped away the tears staining down his face and his slightly reddened eyes blinked to hideaway his pain. Her palm brushed up against his forehead, pushing off his hairs to lightly touch the scar on his forehead with her thumb. His onyx eyes met hers and they begged for her forgiveness and to stay, but he said nothing for a few seconds._

_"If this is what you want, I will let you go," he finally said, his voice stammering._

_"It is not, but you know it is what we need...for now," Juvia's bittersweet smile comforted him about her decision._

_Gray nodded, taking her hand from his scar and kissing it for the last time. "I understand. Can I ask you one last thing?"_

_She stared into his livid pools, having the nostalgic feeling of seeing him for the first time. "Of course."_

_He looked up from her hand back to her eyes and asked, "You do know that I did, and do love you, right?"_

_Juvia smiled wholeheartedly, "Always, and terribly."_

* * *

"Where do you think she is?" Lyon inquired. Not only did he want Gray to snap out of his anxiety and sadness, but he also worried for his friend, and if he would ever see her again too.

Gray fiddled with the unstitched threads coming off his shirt's hem to distract himself from drawing into his emotions speaking about Juvia. It was too soon for him, and he knew that if he hadn't stopped thinking about her, or weeping over for her over the past few nights since she left, he wouldn't be able to control himself in front of Lyon.

"I don't know. What I do know, is that she's smart, and she's probably somewhere different from Magnolia right now, figuring out how to make a new life for herself there."

"Do you think she really left to grow...and that she will come back and want to be with you in the future?"

Gray hesitated to answer for more than a couple seconds as he pondered the thought too. Maybe she was tired of their relationship and of him? Maybe all that she said was just her way to be nice? Maybe she had already fallen in love with someone else?

"No..I know she did. She's not someone that can be in one place for too long. The world is her home. I wish I could make her mine again, because I'm so fucking selfish. Nothing would bring me more bliss and happiness to be able to wake up every morning next to her and listen to all the dreams she had at night, and to be able to sleep with her in my hold, hearing all her late-night thoughts. But I think part of it was that in the end, I know I'm not good enough for her."

Lyon raised an eyebrow, looking over towards Gray. "What do you mean?"

"My Juvia is so wonderful," he chuckled to himself a bit, looking down at his blistered palms laying on top of his lap, "I never thought in a million years I would ever say that...but she is. You know how she is like, Lyon. She's so damn special. She wants to take care of everyone else, and the whole world before herself, and what she wants, and I also think that's partly why she felt she needed to go. Juvia feels like she needs to be more, and a better person, but she's already that. But if she wants to go because she doesn't think it's enough, I can't stop her. I'm nothing like she is. That's why I know that even if she were still mine, she wouldn't really be mine because she is belongs to no one but herself, and the world."

"You know, the first time I knew I loved her, was during the fight against Tartaros a couple years back. It was kind of a blessing that Silver was my future counterpart, otherwise I wouldn't have realized from him that I had harbored these damn, stupid feelings. I thought, 'what would happen if I lose Juvia today?'" he asked rhetorically and continued, "I realized, I can't. I won't let it happen, and I can't get over it. I can't stand the thought of anyone in Fairy Tail dying. But when I thought Juvia, and almost lost her again because of fucking Silver, or _me_, better yet, I couldn't sleep for days until I told her how I felt, and until I could protect her."

"You really love her, don't you?"

A silent tear streamed down from the corner of Gray's cheeks and a weak, content smile appeared on his lips. "Yeah. I really, really do. It hurts."

The wind came to a stop and Lyon stood, his back to Gray's and halfway out of the deck door. He wanted to allow the man some time alone. "I understand. As long as you're okay with the decision, and you'll be okay. You know where to find me. Take care, Gray."

With that, Lyon left and shut Gray's apartment door behind him. Gray admired the skies a last time and shut his eyes, smiling genuinely. "Wherever you are Juvia, be safe, and let's find each other in the future soon."


End file.
